I just wanted to write without talking about law school.
As I type this post, I can hear the rain from outside. It’s been a long time since it really rained like this in the Bay Area. Since I’m mostly an indoor person, rain makes my time all the more sweeter, since now I can say, “Gee, now I have a better reason for staying inside the house today.”
Rain is dramatic. I get a little emotional and a little meditative every time. The swirling motions of the rain clouds remind me of my own deep, secret thoughts about a lot of things. If the gentle nocturnal summer breeze is nature’s coo, then the cold raindrops are remnants of old memories. Memories come back to me in the rain, they reach out to me with a cold touch. Sometimes I turn away and think of other things. But other times, I take a deep breath and take a dive into the cold lake of my memories. It’s not pleasant at first, but after a while, you get used to it–at first what feels ironic or discordant feels more and more natural. I relive old experiences, which inevitably lead to questions. What could I have done otherwise? Did I really mean what I said? Am I bound to make the same decisions in the future? Will I ever change? But this is a process, and like any other process, given enough time, you get better at it each time you go through it. Rain, then, for me, is a process of self-cleansing and resolution, where I collect all the gems of knowledge, experience, feelings, and hold them to a light.
